The time between birth and death is not only a historical journey but is a spiral through cycles of development. As each turn of the spiral opens into an expanded arena for expression and accomplishment, it also presents a unique set of challenges. Proper completion of the bonding process at each level supplies building blocks for the next. 
   As Pam Levin explains in her interview, biological time unwinds logarithmically like a nautilus spiral. Conception is like a big bang--a moment of bliss and timelessness. Our life spiral then begins unfolding. The impact of events on us is greatest at this beginning of life. As we develop and mature, time seems to pass with greater speed. When assessing how an event affects us later, the rule of thumb is that the earlier and deeper the experience, the more pervasive its effect on the subsequent life.
   Through association, events  that are unrelated in time can share emotional tones and meanings. Stanislov Grof refers to our life experiences as dynamic "constellations of associated memories with a common denominator." These constellations connect ancestral and genetic memories, birth and prenatal themes, biological periods, past and future lifetimes, animal identifications, mythological sequences and archetypes. The tools of logic cannot hope to penetrate the depths of the multi-dimensional self. 
    To look at life as a collection of verbal memories misses these connections. We cannot live whole and meaningful lives if we try to separate the mental/verbal from the body/cellular and the soul/transpersonal levels of experience. The more separated, isolated and fragmented we become, the greater the crisis and discomfort we feel. For this reason, we are currently seeing a profound shift in therapeutic models. Our growing lack of satisfaction with a one-dimensional approach to healing and health is perhaps a positive sign. It represents a turning point that reflects our longing for greater connection to life and meaning. All therapies lead to an expanding sense of selfhood and ultimately to the doorway of spirit. That journey is implied in these stories.
    

In its primitive and formative stages, the nervous system primarily receives impressions and data. Millions of cell divisions in highly compressed conditions are needed to lay down germ-layers for the systems that comprise the human body. Yet each successive stage involves not only the development of physical layers but the imprinting of the mental, emotional, cultural, and spiritual impressions that surround the womb. The physical genetics are only one part of the picture. 
There is some controversy as to point in time when "life" begins. In my opinion this is a moot point. Even though the soul connection may take place at any time from conception to birth or later, events are continually stored in cellular tissues, and cell memories may present themselves for reconciliation throughout one's lifetime. In the past several years, various body-mind therapies have attempted to heal patterns of dysfunction by creating safe conditions for clients to access pre-birth memories. As exemplified in Lillian Cohn's story, cellular knowledge of prenatal events are not always validated by family stories. Since cellular memory is unconscious and does not depend on the cerebral cortex, it is not accessed through the normal processes of everyday thinking. Clinical accounts of client memories (both cellular and clairvoyant) of past-life and prenatal trauma such as attempted abortion give us a working hypothesis for future exploration. In addition, recent breakthroughs in active-brain imaging open up the possibility for collaborative efforts to reconcile  the findings of clinical science with laboratory research.
  Since each life is unique, no generalizations or formulas can apply to how we experience life or how we heal traumas. We each enter life with a different orientation, background, set of lessons and soul experiences. Just as we choose different roles, so we interpret our life events differently. These differences enhance our ability to share and learn from one another.
     Since bonding reflects how well we succeed in learning tasks and making transitions between stages of development and since our earliest and most profound imprints occur well before birth, most of our life patterns are established in the prenatal period. One of my mentors used to repeat "under stress, we regress" as a reminder that stressful life conditions trigger past memories and automatic survival defenses. Psychosomatic symptoms, emotional reactivity or delusional thinking often have their roots in preverbal events that are beyond the range of normal memory. 

Photographic journeys into the prenatal landscape show us that the selection of which egg and sperm join together is neither random nor accidental. Enzymes produced by the first dozen or so sperm that arrive on the site weaken the membrane of the egg so that another sperm can finally break through. The egg senses the sizes of the sperm around her, and chooses the one whose head will expand into a sphere that is exactly her size. She then produces a chemical to harden the membrane so no other sperm can enter. 
      As the spheres of the egg and sperm pass through one another they become one sphere containing forty-six chromosomes. This single cell is called a zygote. Soon polar bodies migrate to opposite ends of the cell, forming north and south poles. A tube appears and the chromosomes line up along both sides. The entire journey that ensues is full of metaphor, mystery, emotion and meaning.
     Conception reflects creation--the primary union of male and female--and our feelings about intimacy and sexuality. What feelings are present at this time? A sense of attraction, welcome, warmth, clear intention, strength and love, or some combination of other feelings such as entrapment,  confinement, evasiveness, weakness, insecurity, rejection or violence? Does the soul join this union with a clear sense of purpose, affinity and attraction? Or does it doubt, resist, hesitate or rebel? Clinical findings often indicate a soul affinity to one parent over the other, and in well over half the cases, some degree of trauma (i.e., discord in the parental relationship) gives a message of conflict rather than welcome.

Is the womb friendly to the implantation of the fertilized ovum in the uterine wall? This question takes into consideration timing, location in the womb, nutrient supply, temperature, hormonal levels, and most importantly, maternal attitude. For one reason or another, around sixty percent of fertilized eggs die in their first week of life. After entry into the womb, the grace period for implantation is brief. Although our mother has a powerful influence over us as fertilized eggs, we also have some degree of control in creating favorable conditions for a good landing. It is important for us to attach to the upper regions of the uterus to avoid the dangers of placenta previa. One client with persistent balance problems remembered a feeling of blissfully floating down the fallopian tube, and--through lack of attention--just achieved a connection to the uterine wall in the nick of time. Her precarious connection was experienced throughout life as feeling "wobbly" and "out of balance." 
     Questions that may relate to this time in life are:  Am I confident in my commitments? Do I feel at home and safe where I choose to live? Do I have an easy time receiving what I need in life? Am I comfortable being physically and emotionally close to others? Do I feel that I have room to grow? Is my connection to life secure?

The mother's discovery of her pregnancy formerly occurred perhaps six weeks after conception. In most cases this wasn't until after two missed periods. With current home pregnancy tests, a woman can know within a few days after her period is missed. Blood tests can shorten this time to within a week after conception. This means that for the new generation, the discovery imprint will affect a more fundamental layer of development. Considerations of abortion or attempts to abort have a profound impact on the embryo during the period soon after discovery. Discovery further impacts the embryo as the father, grandparents and society become aware of the pregnancy. Questions to consider include: When mother discovers that she is pregnant, is she happy?  As a result, do I feel safe being seen, discovered, known? Do I anticipate causing problems for other people? Do I have an unnatural fear of rejection? Do I prefer being quiet and unobtrusive to making myself and my views known to others? Do I feel I am worthy and have the right to exist? Do I feel wanted? Do I have issues with commitment? Do I fear that my life gets in the way of others' happiness?

Ideally the womb is a place of safety, trust, and security. However this is not everyone's experience. An unsafe or life-threatening condition in the womb is referred to as "toxic womb syndrome." This may be due to the high anxiety of a mother's conflict about her pregnancy, extreme conditions of stress, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, poor diet, and so forth. A toxic womb can produce environmental sensitivity, neurological disorders, hypersensitivity, hypervigilance, allergies, lack of thriving, immune weakness, coordination problems, digestive disturbances and numerous other conditions. One of  the most profound effects this situation has on our entire society is cognitive dysfunction that limits a child's ability to learn.

Birth trauma may result from premature labor, a long, intense labor, cord problems, oxygen deprivation, or any outside intervention such as the use of drugs, anesthesia, caesarian section, forceps or vacuum extraction. Less obvious stressors can also leave lasting impressions, many of which go by unnoticed. The many questions relating to birth might be summarized as: How do I handle transitions? Every transition is mediated by birth imprints--transitions from home to work, from home to home, from job to job, from environment to environment, from one phase of development to another, to new endeavors, relationships and functions. Our birth experience affects how we begin, sustain, and complete projects, and our sense of accomplishment at the end. Some relevant questions might be: Do I feel that I make progress in my work?  Do I feel I have plenty of time; can I trust my natural rhythm in doing tasks? Am I comfortable in close proximity to others, being touched, hugged, massaged, in enclosed spaces? Is my energy steady and consistent? Am I confident in my ability to handle challenging situations?
The articles in this issue fill in the details and present the wisdom of our community--perspectives on birth, bonding, healing, presence, truth and compassion. 

Jerri-Jo Idarius was a practitioner of various holistic healing modalities for over twenty-five  years,  including such regressive therapies as hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Limbic Integration. Now, at  Sojourn magazine, she applies her question-ing and listening skills to the interview process, aiming to share the same levels of intimacy and depth as occurs in the one-to-one therapeutic process.