Years ago, in my early twenties, I attended Lamaze
classes in Washington State with a friend and her husband and supported
her through the birth of their third child. I was so amazed by the process
that when the baby was born, my mouth just hung wide open. My focus was
still physical. I wasn't yet aware of the spiritual dimensions of birth.
While still in Washington, I met Shirley MacLaine. My dad was doing
an appraisal on her house, and I went with him. She had recently written
Out On A Limb, and was telling me about it. She said, "This book is really
wild." I said, "I'll have to get it," and she gave me a copy to read. In
the book, she talked about an out-of-body experience she had in Peru. It
sounded like something I'd like to do.
Months later, I found myself really unhappy in Washington.
I knew I was working toward something, but I didn't know what. I tried
a few metaphysical paths, but they weren't fitting me. One night I thought,
"I'm going to try to have an out-of-body experience." I lay there on my
bed and focused all my energy and attention on the middle of my head. I
thought I would pop out of my head, but all I did was create an incredible
headache! I did this three times. I focused so hard. I tried, and tried,
and tried, but nothing happened. By the third time, my head was hurting
so much that I said, "Oh, God, forget it."
Then suddenly, with my eyes closed, this gold light came.
It was so incredibly beautiful. It spoke to me and said, "Hi, Cindy." I
said, "Hi, who are you? You're so beautiful! Are you God?" And it said,
"Yes, I'm God." I said, "Can I touch you?" God said, "Yes." I reached out
and put my arm into the gold light. This was with my eyes closed. Later,
I realized I was having my out-of-body experience and didn't even recognize
it. I was touching the light. My arm was in it. Then everything just melted,
and this incredible peace filled me. I asked, "Can I come all the way in?"
God said, "Sure, come on in." So I stepped right into the gold light. Peace
filled my whole body--my physical body and my spiritual body at the same
time. I asked, "Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?" The light, God, said,
"Sure." I curled up in a ball and went to the outermost edge of the gold.
I was thinking, "I don't want to disturb God. I'm just gonna take this
corner over here." So I went to sleep and had a most restful sleep.
I couldn't wait to go back to sleep the next night because
I wanted to see if God would come again. God did come, for three nights
in a row. When I woke up on the third morning, I heard a voice in my head
that said, "You can change everything and move to California." I said,
"Okay, I'll do it." Then everything just fell into place--boom, boom, boom.
I just did it.
I went to Sacramento looking for a place to live, and
landed in a town called Carmichael. There I met a woman who'd had a few
readings at the Berkeley Psychic Institute. One day I told her, "I'm kind
of interested in this." I ended up studying there. I learned that everybody
has psychic abilities and that I could strengthen and develop mine.
When I finished the clairvoyance training, I entered a
spiritual midwife program through the Aesclepion Healing Center at the
Marin Birth Center. The Birth Center's slogan was "birthing spirit and
body together." We aided parents in connecting with their child's spirit,
and in bonding during the pregnancy. We also did hands-on healing and counseling.
Then, when we attended the birth, we connected with the spirit of the child.
When you attend a birth, your own birth memories are stimulated.
Therefore, in our training, we also worked to clear out our own past traumas.
Getting to know oneself is essential to becoming an effective spiritual
The group of women who pioneered this program belonged
to the Church of Divine Man, which is part of the Berkeley Psychic Institute.
They felt it is natural to greet the being as it's coming into the body.
In the beginning I was scared because I didn't know what to do. But I did
it for five years, and I loved getting up in the middle of the night to
attend births. I was doing court reporting at the same time, and anytime
I had a conflict between attending a birth or taking a job, it always worked
out. At the Birth Center, the regular midwives felt that our work--meditating,
and focusing on the spiritual realm, and clearing out any negative energy
that came--made it safe for them to do their work.
Some of the parents didn't want our services, but others
chose the Birth Center because of them. Some moms wanted communication
during labor about what we were seeing. Others didn't want any communication,
just support and to hear about it afterwards. Some didn't have any idea
what we were doing, but they didn't mind us being present. For the majority
of births to which we were invited, two or sometimes three spiritual midwives
would attend. We also went to lots of hospital births.
Once, in the Stanford Hospital, three or four of us were
in the room while a woman was in labor. The energy was so noticeably different
that the nurse walked in several times and said, "What are you guys doing
in here? Whatever it is, you need to market this." Once a pediatrician
came in and said, "Whatever you're doing, we could use you down the hall."
They were going from room to room. After being in a room that was hectic
and chaotic, they'd come into our wonderful space. They could tell the
difference, and it was fun for us to get the feedback.
We followed the birth all the way, from the moment the
mother went into labor. We had a great system. One person was assigned
as the "birth buddy." She would call the mom and talk with her once a week
throughout the pregnancy. She was the one closest to the mom. Another person
would be a "mama." She would stay home and do phone calling to make sure
we had all the shifts covered. She would also watch the energy from a distance.
As a group, the spiritual midwives would set a goal for each birth. We
would check in on the birth energy around each of the pregnant moms, and
ground her birthing space with a lot of energy work.
We had a class every Friday night, which I taught for
two years. Our pink book contained the names of the women who were going
to be delivering. We would say a little bit about each person; then whoever
felt the most resonance with them would be the birth buddy. We would meditate,
look at the energy and find a color focus so we would all be in synch.
Much of our work was done months before the actual birth. We also set an
overall goal. For example, if the energy was too serious or somber, we
might set lightness or amusement as a goal. Other times we'd ask to get
more in touch with our female creative essence. There are a lot of different
ways to work with spirit, and of course we worked with the tools we had.
Although we didn't consciously bring angels in, they were always present,
singing. We could see and hear them, some more than others. Now that I've
worked with a lot of angels, I focus on them more.
During one birth, there was classical music playing, candles lit, and
the whole atmosphere was beautiful. I was sitting in the birthroom meditating
and talking to the baby, saying, "Oh, how wonderful, you're so nice." I
was speaking to him using these fluffy words, and he yelled at me. I heard
him clearly! He said, "Do not talk to me that way." I was taken aback.
I said, "What?" He said, "I am not that fluffy image you're talking to
me through." He was a go-getter type. You know, one of those kids who can
really control their parents. He showed me what he was like. I had never
had this type of experience before, but I said, "Okay." Then he told me
to leave because I wasn't neutral to him. I was in too much judgment. I
was thinking, "What do you mean? How can you be like that?" I got up and
walked out to the front room--really quite confused about this. He told
me that until I became neutral to how he was, he didn't want me in the
room. I ended up going to sleep on the couch. I later woke up, feeling
a shift in the energy. Another spiritual midwife came out and said, "She's
just about ready to push, do you want to come in?" I said, "All right."
I could tell I had gotten over a bit of my judgment.
Earlier that day, I had been swimming and
tried to hold my breath from one end of the pool to the other. Half way
through I popped out of the water because I couldn't hold my breath anymore.
I repeated this about five times before I realized I had a past life where
I drowned. I thought, "That's nice, I'll just forget about that!" Then
I was called to go to this birth. But I hadn't cleared that memory.
When I woke up and went into the birth room, I asked the
baby, "Is it okay if I come in?" He said, "Yes." I went in the room and
the mom was squatting to push the baby out. The baby's heart rate was dropping,
and the nurse started to panic. She told the mom, "You have got to get
this baby out now." The mother pushed the baby out, but I could tell immediately
that something wasn't right. He was all floppy and couldn't anchor into
his body. I told the other spiritual midwife to call John Fulton, a bishop
in the church, and ask him to look at the situation from a distance. John
is very psychic. Meanwhile, they grabbed the oxygen machine and brought
it over. The nurses were working on the baby boy, but he was not responding.
I sat down, started meditating and clairvoyantly saw what
was going on. The next thing I knew, I was in a space of oblivion. Things
were very weird, and I was so far out I didn't know where I was. Then Dawn,
another spiritual midwife, came in. John had told her that this baby had
drowned in a past life, and that every time he tried to anchor in his body,
he thought he was dying. That brought me back to my drowning vision from
earlier in the day. My experience matched his drowning experience, which
had a lot of charge on it, and I forgot what I was doing.
Dawn and I immediately sat down, went into his third chakra
and pulled out the baby's trauma. The nurses were still working on him.
Suddenly the trauma picture left. He hooked into his body through the third
chakra, and simultaneously spit up the liquid from his lungs. He was fine.
Later, when his dad was holding him, he asked, "Do you guys want to see
him?" As I looked at him, his eyes were open wide and he said, "Thank you!"
It was very clear. It ran right through my body. I said, "Well, you're
welcome." It is so awesome how babies can talk to you through their eyes.
The look they give you is the greatest reward. That particular birth was
intense for me, but was so wonderful in the end.
One mother was triggered by a past life in which she had
died in childbirth, and she knew it. I was holding her leg, and she was
pushing hard. She was screaming bloody murder. I looked right into her
eyes, and she looked into mine. Knowing what was going on, I held the focus
with her: "You can do this." And she did. Afterwards, she told me that
the feeling of dying was so strong that she thought she was actually going
Together, we held the intention that she would make it
no matter what. And that's what she did. She blew right through the death
picture, and afterwards her energy changed. She was an electrician with
a very male energy, but after her baby was born, her energy was so motherly,
so female. She was ecstatic to be a mom. She would walk into the Birth
Center and just glow.
At another birth, I walked in at the point where the mom was pushing.
She was using a special method of breathing that she had learned in Breema
bodywork. I'd never seen anybody look so peaceful. She was sitting up on
some birth cushions, and the whole energy in the room was so peaceful that
I just sat there and cried.
A week later, at the postpartum checkup, I happened to
be at the Birth Center. My friend Elizabeth Carol was holding the baby.
She has a strong connection with Mother Mary. My cheap little Vivitar camera
was loaded and in my car. I had never taken any pictures the
whole time I had been a spiritual midwife, but a voice in my head said,
"Go get your camera." I went and grabbed it, and took several pictures
of Elizabeth Carol holding the baby. It took me a full year to get that
film developed. It sat on my counter until I finally looked at the roll
one day and said, "I wonder what's on this."
When I got the pictures back, I said,"Oh, my God. Now
doesn't this just fit?" My dad, who is Catholic and really into Mother
Mary, saw the image and said, "Oh, my God!" The picture shows Elizabeth
Carol sitting on the couch holding the baby, and Mary's energy is behind
her--pink-orange with some blue in it. It looks like a statue of Mary wearing
a cloak, with her head slightly tilted down looking at the child. You can't
see her face, but you can see the shape of the cloak, the head and the
shoulders in outline.
I'd like to share one more story. I was at the Birth Center and was
feeling very stimulated by a problem I had been having with a particular
member of the church. Every time
he walked in the room, my body would go into fear mode. I don't know
if this was due to a problem with male authority, but this guy would just
look at me and put me into my stuff. I was in this dark interior space,
thinking I was the worst person on the planet. I was sitting on the couch
outside the birth room, meditating and crying.
I didn't know the mom, who was a Mexican woman, but her
family members were sitting with me in the waiting area. As I was meditating,
a bright green being came into my view. I could see her clearly--a bright
green light with a feminine tone. She said, "Cindy, I'm just about ready
to be born; can you move that black energy out of the way?" I said, "What?"
She said, "I'm just about ready to be born. Can you move that energy out
of the way? I don't want to come through that. I have a female body and
that energy will harm me." I said, "Okay." So, I started to move the black
energy out, though at the same time questioning the whole thing.
I could hear other beings saying, "This is her karma.
She has got to deal with this." This concerned me, so I said, "Wait a second.
What is it about your karma that I'm interfering with?" She said, "Trust
yourself. This is not my karma. I have a female body. This energy is going
to hurt. Look what it did to you." I started bringing in gold light, but
the beings started talking to me again. They were telling me not to do
it. I told her, "I'm not going to do this, because I don't want to interfere.
I don't want to take on any karma. What I'll do is I'll just watch God
do it." That was okay with her, so I said, "Okay, God, do your stuff."
The gold light came in, and the darkness couldn't penetrate
it. It couldn't even be near it. I could hear the mom pushing in the birthroom.
I watched as the green light merged into the gold, traveling down the gold,
and pretty soon the baby was born. I thought, "I wonder if it's a girl."
She had so firmly told me she was a girl. Just then the midwife came out
with the baby and said, "It's a girl." The parents named her Esmerelda,
which means emerald green. I thought, "That's beautiful, because that's
the color she is." Her energy was bright emerald green, which is a healing
Awhile later, the midwife handed the baby to Kim, another
spiritual midwife. After holding the baby a while, she said, "Here, Cindy,
you hold her." I could still feel that dark energy on my left side, and
I thought, "I want to hold her, but I'll make her cry." She said, "No,
you won't! Hold her." I reached for the baby and she started to cry, but
then she plugged my heart with that golden energy. She ran it through my
whole body--the same energy she was born in. She was melting me. Another
spiritual midwife wanted to hold her, but I said, "No way, not until this
kid's done giving me this healing! This is the most incredible one I've
ever had." Kim said, "She's healing your heart." We were all psychic, so
we gave ourselves permission to say things like that. It was quite profound,
and I thank Esmerelda for showing me the light when I was in the dark!
I want to teach and create a birth-support team to continue this work.
When I was doing a meditation a year ago or so, I kept hearing, "birth,
birth, birth, birth." I said, "All right, if I do this birth thing, I want
to know whom I'm working with." All at once, that gold energy came in--in
the form of all these women. They had on long robes and gold bands around
their foreheads. Pools of water were everywhere, and Greek temples. Some
of the women were familiar to me. The energy was so high that I jumped
off the couch and said, "okay, okay, okay." They said, "We want to help
you." One said, "We've been waiting for you to make the commitment. When
you make the commitment, it will unfold."
I replied, "Okay, but I'm not going to do this on
my own." All these angels came, and they said, "We support you. Just keep
going. The way will unfold . . ."
Cindy Carmichael spent five years training and volunteering as a
spiritual midwife at the Marin Birth Center. Her passion is in celebrating
and welcoming spirits as they make the journey through birth. She is currently
coordinating a spiritual midwife class in Sonoma County. You may contact
her at 253-761-2851 or email firstname.lastname@example.org if you're interested
in the spiritual nature of birth!