Julia "Butterfly" Hill, twenty-five years old, has lived in the now-famous redwood tree "Luna" (named on the full-moon night when tree-sitters first occupied her) since December 12, 1997. This action is one of many to stop the destruction of Humboldt's ancient forests. 
   Julia is still there, 180-feet above a ridgetop, with both the Eel River valley and the ocean in view. She has endured the ferocity of El Nino storms and terrifying helicopter harrassment during Maxxam/Pacific Lumber's logging of the fragile, steep slope below. Much of that slope had been devastated by a landslide that obliterated seven homes in the tiny town of Stafford. 
    Julia has received an honorary doctorate degree and international attention for her record-breaking achievements and has opened many hearts to the plight of the forests and their dependent communities. She patiently reminds the clamoring media that her vigil is a message to protect the future of both the forests and the timber workers. This gentle warrior is one of many who resist ecocide with simple courage and great generosity of spirit. 
 
For me, it's been one foot in front of the other, one prayer at a time. I have an  absolute desire in my heart to be the best person I can possibly be. That's what has led me up  this tree, and I've given my word not to allow my feet to touch the ground again until I feel I have done everything that I possibly could. 
     It takes a lot of strength to make it through an experience like this. I know that not everyone can do this, so I feel blessed that people can connect to this action through me--they too can feel it, learn from it and be inspired. I don't plan on  leaving Luna behind.  I'm going to take her with me. This experience is going to affect the way I live in the world of "down there." This is an ultimate gift, a blessing beyond description. 
    The way I learned to let go of creature comforts was in a storm where I almost died last winter. For two and a half weeks there were massive, windy storms  with sleet and hail and rain. On the worst night there were ninety- mile-an-hour gusts that broke four massive branches around me--one from above that collapsed half my fort. I was getting thrown three feet with the hardest gusts and all my tarps were shredding. I was wrapped in one like a burrito,  holding on to Luna for dear life--just flipping out. 
    I was trying so hard to stay alive that my teeth, my fists, and my whole body were clenched--as if that was going to hold me together. I was being tossed all over. I said to her, "Oh Luna, I can't think of a better way to die than standing for what I believe in; it's so much better than the way most people die today, but I don't want to die. I want to be strong--for you, for the forest, for the people--I can't even be strong for me. What am I going to do?" 
    And she spoke to me, saying, Think of the trees, Julia. The trees in a storm bend and blow with the wind. The trees that try to stand up strong break in the wind. Now is not the time for you to be strong like that, or you too will break. Now is the time for you to let it go. That's the way we make it through the storms in our lives. We have to let go and not hold on to our attachments. I've been opened on every level and absolutely transformed, but I had to be broken-- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually--to lose my attachment to comfortability. 
     I was so naïve when I first climbed the branches of this tree! In the beginning I was just doing what everybody else was doing--trying to talk issues with the loggers. I could see how they tuned us out; their response was either "f--you!" or they revved up their chainsaws. I realized that's  not the way to reach a man who's cutting the woods down for his living. 
     One logger yelled up to me that the trees were so old, they were dying anyway;  he told me I didn't know what I was talking about, so I should just shut up. I sat up here and I thought, how can I get through to this person? Then it hit me that this tree is my elder, my grandmother. I asked him if he had grandparents, and he said "Yes." So I said, "Why don't we just kill them--if they're old and going to die anyway?"  He didn't like that at all, because it hit too close to home! All I can do is reach out from my own life. Watching these incredible trees hit the ground hits me close to home, too. 
     I've had wonderful experiences with these loggers, too. I just refuse to hate. It's not easy, not stooping to their level, especially when you're in the midst of it, but I just keep coming to them with love.  The breath we take  in is the gift of life that every living thing in this entire universe shares. That breath brings oxygen into our bodies. It fills up our blood, and that trail  leads where? To our hearts. I do my best to stay focused on that and reach to that heart source. The heart of a matter is the truth of a matter. 
     I don't believe in religion. Religion has confines; why would I want to confine something that's everything? All life was created from one source. I call it the Universal Spirit of Love and Light. If I believe in one religion, then I can only go there for my answers. But in understanding that the source is in all things,  answers come from Luna, from the water, the air, the earth and the fire, and everything in between. 
 
 
Ever since I was a little girl, poetry has  been an outlet for me. I've had a really tough life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world, you know? It's taught me so much. My poems are about experiences up here--awakenings and understandings. I tell people that when you listen to Julia Butterfly you're not hearing Julia Butterfly. You're hearing the greater spirit, the truth that I've gained. Ultimately, I'm in the world's most amazing radio tower and I've been blessed to be the microphone. 
 
 This poem is called December 12, 1998, because that was the day I wrote it. It's about seeing all the beautiful people hiking up this hillside to celebrate my one-year anniversary of living together with Luna. There are many different paths to get to Luna and I was watching the people from the very tippy-top of the tree--an amazing and magical place to be. They were animal calling, whooping and hollering and having just a wonderful time. Everywhere I turned I saw a path of colored dots ascending the hill. That beautiful sight inspired this poem: 

 

Standing at the very top of the world, 
I see beautiful people coming from every direction. 
My heart fills to overflowing,  
Looking for a way to release 
Before it stops working 
From the overwhelmingness of it all. 

How do you say I Love You 
In a way that describes the immensity 
Of description-defying energy 
Flowing in and out 
Up and down and around 
A beautiful circle of loving completion 
With me somewhere in the middle of it all 
Looking out at the world, 
Falling in love again and again and again 
Until there is no beginning and no end. 

I think that one of our struggles  in life is that we get caught up thinking that we're human beings seeking to be spiritual, when in actuality we're all spiritual being in human form. Luna is  spiritual being in tree form, and river is spiritual being in water form. It all comes from the same source. 

Dragons
I just watched the sunrise 
And I'll never be the same again. 
The Dragon breathed fire on the other side of the ridge, 
Then its golden wealth began to flow upwards; 
Morning fairies danced among the clouds, 
Kissing them with the softest lips 
Leaving wisps of pink as a gentle reminder. 

The ever-present fog begins its return to the ocean 
Having said its good mornings to the Sun God. 
All honor is given, 
All honor is received, 
And I weep at the beauty of it all. 

   Luna has given me so much. I did a day-long essence-gathering ceremony, in prayer, and I was given Luna's essence--the essence of the redwoods. I felt this pressure on my hand and on my third-eye chakra that was guiding me to receive these different parts of her, and this was the message: Strength, Endurance, Commitment and Love. My vision is one of love for life in ALL of its forms. Because if you love something you take care of it, you treasure it, you prize it, you protect it, it is your all, it is you, it is the true connection. 
 
 

The wind rages, parading its might  
In a dazzling display of strength and passion. 
I feel the creaks and groans all around me, 
My thoughts get lost in swirling madness. 
Dawn breaks 
And with the morning wind abates, 
Occasionally whispering wistful tunes 
To my wandering mind. 
Each day flows like the river, 
Gently meandering some 
Then rushing headfirst the next. 
Time is lost here 
A day, a week, and now a month is turning two... 
Immense and soaring highs 
Painfully aching lows 
I have crested snow-capped mountains 
And wept upon the fallen valley, 
Everything in between carries me, pushes me,  
     onward, upward, outward 
Towards the Sun, the Moon, the Stars, Infinity 
I am the same, yet different, 
Something integral, important, intense, changed-- 
Metamorphosed into this being. 
I find myself enthralled, 
I have held hands with a Goddess, 
Purest passion for a love undefined 
Sacred, blessed, my spirit soars. 

This beautiful, 1000 year-old redwood, Luna, is still not  protected. Pacific Lumber  has stated that they will cut it down. I can't understand why any old-growth is being cut down. Certainly after bonding with this tree, and after so many others have bonded with her, I can't imagine the vindictiveness of a company to cut down a beautiful tree that means so much to so many. 
  
I'm still up here because the Headwaters Forest Agreement didn't do what it was supposed to do. It protected Headwaters Grove--kind of-- and Elkhead Springs Grove--kind of. But it also freed up thousands of acres of land--with trees  just as beautiful as Luna, and many areas in just as critical a condition as this hillside--to be destroyed. Because of that, it is extremely important that we still be in the trees, not only to defend  them, but to remind people about the real protection that is still needed. 
    If we were living in love and respect for all life, we would be in balance. When I say all life, I mean it.  We all have an individual responsibility to that balance. So, honestly,  the way I see things, I take personal responsibility for the state of the world--even though I'm not the one who came  in and screwed up everything. Not only do I have a  right to a beautiful life; I also have the responsibility to make it so. 
    This requires sacrifice. Very few people are willing to sacrifice, but that's the only way we're going to make the shift  away from that  paradigm that has been so destructive over time.  The forest issues, the nuclear waste issues, the abuse of women, these things  are all symptoms of the disease that I call "Separation Syndrome." When you rip  a plant out by its roots, it loses its connection to life. It begins to turn brown and die. We've ripped up our own roots of connection by  letting go of the true love that connects all life. We've become  part of the very disease that is killing us. 
   Ultimately, we can change in one of two ways. We can either start making the sacrifices and the changes now--while there's still some choice--or we can start making them after there is nothing left and we have no choice, because we're  fighting for the very air that comes into our lungs and for the very water that makes up most of the earth--including ourselves. 
    We can leave something better behind us. And there's joy, there's such great joy! Just look at what's real in life--not society's creation, but Creation's creation. Once you start letting go, then the transformation begins.