I think that we are all handicapped in some way. You know the parts of ourselves that are slow, quiet, kind of dumb--the parts of ourselves that are just NOT with it. I believe that inside of us is a handicapped child, living somewhere in hiding because she has been rejected and exiled into the deepest, darkest caverns of our memory. I remember the night that I was challenged to find and welcome back that handicapped child into my life and learn to love even that part of me. 

I remember the night everything in the house became silent. I could hear it. I could feel it. And so I decided to call forth my exiled child. Like Lazarus, I waited. I looked for a long time and didn't see anyone. It was just silence. A memory of the silence flashed through my mind. Suddenly, I was there in the silent place. Memories of this place flooded into my being. I thought, "Why am I here? Is my handicapped child here?"  

I looked again and something caught my eye. As I looked closer I could see someone approaching me in the silent place. But instead of a child it was a woman that came forth. As she moved toward me I could see that her mouth had been taped shut. I asked her who she was but she could not speak. She seemed determined to comunicate and to my surprise her hands began to create the most beautiful visual language I have ever seen. A language I could now understand. 

And this is what she said with her hands. "My name is Truth and I have wanted to speak to you since you were five years old. But as you can see, I am greatly handicapped." I asked, "Why can't you speak, Truth?" She said, "Look closely and tell me what you see." I looked and my eyes were drawn to the tape that had been crossed on her lips. On the tape a word was written and the word was FEAR. I asked her about the fear. "Where did it come from? Who put it there? 

She answered me by saying, "Fear. Fear put it there. It was the man who tortured you with threats of death. It was the man who made you play grown-up games, who made you feel pain, who covered you with shame. It was the man who made you feel ugly, who subjected you to his evil lust. It was the man who took your daughter for his next victim. They put it here." Then there was silence. 

Then she said to me, "You are the only one who can remove it. I have been waiting years here in the silent place, wishing I could help you, hoping to set you free and bring healing to your life. You used to come visit me many times in the silent place when you were young, but after many years passed, you closed the door and locked me away with all your memories hidden inside, until finally you never came here again. I have been hoping and waiting for you to come. I am so happy you are here, I long to speak because I am TRUTH. Then there was silence. 

I just stood there looking at her. Her eyes were strong and she had the feel of a warrior with Justice as her teacher. and then I remembered all those years of silence. And I remember what the silence was like. 

Looking deep into her eyes, I reached for her face. She had a beautiful face. I longer to see her lips. I had a deep desire to hear her speak. I touched her brown curls and her eyebrows. I followed a tear as it ran down her cheek. Then I reached for her mouth and carefully pulled the tape off. 

Peace flooded into the silent place. And there we stood, eye to eye, in the silent place. Her lips began to tremble with strength as she felt her freedom. She took a deep breath in and out and smiled victoriously and said, "I can now speak because you have had the courage to remove the fear. I can now break the silence that binds you. I will bring healing to your broken heart and make you whole. I will give you understanding and take your shame away. I will give Joy for all your sorrows and beauty for ashes, for I AM TRUTH.