Soon after that I went into the restaurant I had been working at for seven years and I quit. I didn't have any money saved. I had to take a leap even though it didn't seem rational to me at the time. It was pretty scary to make a life change--to something totally different. 

I have been an artist ever since. When I began learning stained glass, I was very insecure. I studied at the International School of Metis Art where Hyemeyohsts Storm is director. I have been fortunate to have a circle of women teachers and friends and a core of very dedicated artists around me. I know that a lot of people don't have the kind of support I've had. It's hard for isolated artists who only do their art and don't have a second job or some other kind of financial backing. I've had my ups and downs and sometimes I would eat just quesadillas for a while, yet it has all been worth it. I never dreamed I could express myself in ways that I am now. 

I want women to know they don't have to be slaves to husbands, kids, society, religion or anything else. You can work to realize your potential. It takes a lot of work; a lot of self-work. I know, because it has taken me years to build self-esteem enough to change my self image. 

I know what I've done. I've walked my path, putting one step in front of the other. No one else has done this for me. I have earned what I have right now and that feels good. There's nothing like that in life. 

As women, we've had to live with so many cultural biases. For ages we have been taught to feel inferior about ourselves and each other. It is not so easy to say to yourself, Well, I don't think like that anymore so I'm going to go change and everything is just going to be fine. No, you will run up against Playboy magazine, and the pressure that if you don't look like a model, you're not a real woman. The glass ceiling still exists. Women still don't get equal pay and we are only three years from the year 2000. There is so much to fight for and to change in our world and it begins with each individual. Women have to find that self-pride and self-honor place inside. 

A few years ago I drove to Oakland after the fire and saw the horrible devastation; people lost everything. I had the opportunity to create stained glass windows for five homes that were rebuilt there. I heard many stories and I became intimate with everyone I worked with. There was an old Chinese-American couple that were wonderful. Their only son had died a few years back in a car accident and they had lost all of his belongings and pictures in the fire. I walked into their circle and was immediately challenged to see what I could give from my place of strength. I had the good fortune to bring beauty and renewal into their lives. After these five homes were completed, I drove around and realized I was finished. I had given what I could. 

When Beth at Moonlight Framers in Ukiah gave me Katarzyna's name, I didn't know she had lost her home in a fire. It is interesting to me to be involved in another fire. Most of my life I have had real respect for the fire deity. She is one of human's most precious teachers. I've never had a house burn, so I'm not going to pretend that I know what is to have your possessions burned and gone forever. But I do know about the renewing quality of fire. She is a symbol of a certain power and teaching. So, after I met Katarzyna, I realized once again I could give something with my art support her in moving on. She expressed to me what she wanted and we began. Her phoenix rises from the ashes into a temple--a school of learning. Katarzyna chose the colors. 

Most of my life I lived with beliefs to such an extent that I sometimes wondered what was real. I wasn't learning from life and not even listening to myself. I know I am not alone in this. Look around. You see alienation in misery, war, confusion, apathy, lack of responsibility... 

When I think about reward in a grand sense--in a global sense--I look at the trees and clouds and I think about how most humans are so removed from touching life, from knowing even a small part of our Mother Earth. I think many people don't realize or even want to realize that we humans are Her creation and that we have the most valuable opportunity to evolve with Life Herself. 

My greatest teacher as long as I can remember has been our Earth. This relationship has been central to who I am and to my art. My greatest reward in this lifetime is to be a Self Teacher and to live here in true relationship with Mother Earth. I consistently make the effort to be completely responsible. In doing so, I become a teacher to others by my actions and thoughts. It is my responsibility to learn and to share my learning so that we can begin to understand and know that we can live here on Earth in a much more sacred and honorable way. I am learning to give. 

It's hard to imagine who I was--to find that waitress in me. I don't regret any of my life experiences. You can make changes, no matter how dramatic they may seem in the moment. I don't like to wallow in the dramatic. I don't accept whining. I just say, Get on with it. I've had to fight the victim, my enemy--the I can't do it. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I don't design well enough. To these voices I say, Be quiet! Let's go for it. 

I started making free-standing stained glass pieces about two years ago, after having made windows for fourteen years. I consider these teaching pieces, so that when people look at them, they learn something inside. They express my deep appreciation for the earth and her beauty. I have sold these sculptures at art shows, fairs and galleries. My work is currently in Dancing Coyote Gallery in Depot Bay, Oregon and at Geronimos Gallery in Munich, Germany. Wyland Gallery in San Antonio, Texas has recently ordered my work. It's owned by a new gallery/restaurant franchise called Planet Ocean, which plans to go nationwide.