to Live from the Inside Out
By Kerry Cannava
all have those moments....flashes of inspiration, when the
universe reveals to us a deeper truth about who we are.. It
is when we truly "get it", whatever "it"
may be in that moment. Some call them "a ha" or
'light bulb" moments. Perhaps you have been waiting for
an answer to a prayer, or trying to heal a particular pattern
in your life. Suddenly where there was darkness, the light
has been turned on. Clarity has arrived, and not a moment
too soon. No matter how you label these experiences, one thing
is for sure, they will get your attention and bring you closer
to the truth about who you are.
I experienced one of these moments of awakening a couple of
years ago which was a pivotal part of my spiritual growth.
During this moment I received information from the universe
that would forever change the way I saw others and myself.
I was having a conversation with a friend about relationships,
when this rush of truth flowed through me. I realized that
up to that very moment, I had been living my life from the
outside in. I saw this unsettling image of myself standing
alone in a field, with a bright spotlight shining on me, with
this circle of people surrounding me. The people were every
adult I ever tried to please or make love me as a child, old-lovers,
teachers, friends, and bosses. You name them and they were
there looking at me in that field. I might add that some of
them didn't look too happy either! And there in that moment,
I realized that I had been living my entire life as one big
reaction as to what others were doing, saying and being. No
wonder I had been such a nervous wreck. How the heck could
anyone keep such a crew happy all the time?
I realized in that moment that if I continued to live from
the outside in, reacting to every life circumstance from the
perspective of those eyes from my past staring at me, my spirit
for sure would never soar. I would never allow myself to stand
fully in my light. I would never experience the beauty of
who I am. My dreams for sure would stay hidden on a shelf
somewhere. Bit by bit, beautiful spark by beautiful spark,
my spirit would die. I would be a prisoner, a slave to what
others thought I should be and do. I would be a perpetual
victim, never owning my own authentic power.
This vision made me queasy to say the least. There was a deep
sense of loss for all those moments that I allowed others
to define me. Although I had been on a spiritual quest for
many years, I had never "gotten it" quite this clearly
before. I was stunned, yet grateful for this insight. This
was the biggest roadblock in my life, as it touched every
corner of my life; my friendships, my romantic relationships,
my career, and it was time to let it go. I couldn't stand
to live this way another moment.
My life changed that day. I was given the gift of clarity.
Though the gift came from God, I knew that it would be my
responsibility to put it into action. I had to use the gift
or lose it. It hasn't been easy getting rid of the little
chorus I used to carry around with me in my head all the time.
But when I feel that old familiar feeling of energy leaking
out of me, I ask myself "whose eyes are you seeing this
situation with?" Are you living from the inside out or
from the outside in? If I see that I am seeing myself or a
situation from the perspective of someone else in my life,
such as a parent, lover, or a friend, I just switch gears.
I see the world from my own perspective, from my own heart,
from my own soul. And in experiencing life this way, I get
to feel my spirit, the truth about who I am, from new and
Since I have adapted this new way of experiencing life my
spirit HAS soared. I have experienced deep joy and love, even
though my life is not "perfect". Challenges continue
to present themselves. But it doesn't matter so much anymore,
because I'm living from the inside out. I am free. This is
where present moment living becomes a reality. When you drop
the backpack of meeting other people's expectations you are
free to express your true self no matter what. If people judge
you, or laugh at you or tell you that you're not being realistic
for dreaming such big dreams, it doesn't matter so much anymore.
You are singing the song that God placed in YOUR heart, and
no one else needs to know the words for it to be a masterpiece.
And when you begin to consciously live from the inside out,
and see the tremendous transformations in your life, you can't
believe you ever lived any other way.
So I challenge you to take a look at your life. From whose
perspective are you seeing it with? Do you have your own chorus
of people from your past or present taking up space in your
heart? Do you allow other people to define who you are? My
guess is that many people do. We don't do it on purpose, or
because we want to be miserable. It is just what we have learned
here on earth. We unconsciously try to make other people happy
or impress them because we think that by doing this our worth
is somehow validated. The truth is that you need do nothing
to validate your worth. It is just so. One of our greatest
missions is to let go our desire to make other people happy
and live from the core of our own spirits. It is here that
the seeds that God planted in our hearts begin to bloom. Our
purpose becomes clear, and we flourish.
Many people, mostly women, have a hard time giving up people
pleasing, because they feel they are being selfish. The thought
of "what will people think of me?" rules their hearts.
You need not worry about becoming this selfish person who
only cares about themselves. When you allow your life to be
led by spirit, compassion, love and giving are a part of your
everyday life. You become more empowered to share with others.
So go for it! Dismiss the chorus of people in your head that
tell you how you should be living. Become still and hear that
small voice within. It is calling you. Live from the inside
out and you will know how it feels to truly be alive, to accept
yourself, and to co-create with this beautiful universe of
Cannava is the Founder and Creator of the award winning Web
Site EmbracingYourSpirit.com…A Spiritual Retreat for
Busy Souls. You can email Kerry at Kerry@embracingyourspirit.com
or visit the site at www.embracingyourspirit.com